Tag Archives: #CancerSucks

Why I (Over)Share the Hard Stuff

Posted in Cancer, Daughters, Faith, inspiration, Jesus, Parenting, Prayer, Steph by

It’s been a while since I have written here.  I could say ten different reasons why, but that is for another blog post (or most likely not).

One of the main reasons is that there is just only so much of Steph to go around.  I am saving the best parts of me for my family.  Right now that means going to chemo with my Dad every Monday.

Every week Dad and I take a selfie with a quick update, and I post it on my personal Instagram and Facebook.  Some may wonder why I (over)share about such a personal subject in a public forum.  Here are just a few reasons why I let everyone in:

  • I covet your Prayers.  I want prayers from far and wide to cover my parents, my sister and I.  I have been in a crisis situation where the prayers of my family, friends and strangers alike literally held me up.  I want that kind of strength and peace for my family that only comes through prayer.  That is the peace of God that passes all understanding that you can only have through Christ (Phillipians 4:7).
  • I want to share our Smiles & Faith.  Dad was diagnosed with a very rare, stage 4 Cancer that is not operable nor curable.  The diagnosis was very bleak when we heard it almost two years ago.  Yet we hold our hope in Jesus, so we can smile every week.  Sure there are definitely a lot of tears too.  However, we know no matter how hard things get, Jesus has us wrapped in His arms.  I am so grateful to my parents for raising my sister in I to know and love Jesus, so that we have the Faith needed to make it through the difficult times in life.  There is no greater gift that a parent can give a child.
  • I want to be a Friend.  I can’t tell you how many people who have approached me because they are either dealing with something similar with a parent or have in the past.  Whether they can share some of their wisdom with me from their experiences or we can commiserate together about our pain, it helps us both feel better and not quite so alone in our pain.
  • I want to get REAL.  In a world where your FB & Instagram feed is full of date nights, football games and pretty Christmas trees, I want to sprinkle in some reality.  If you were to see me at the kids’ school, at work, church, or Publix, you would have no clue that I am dealing with such a difficult situation.  Life doesn’t slow down just because you have a crisis you are dealing with at home. You have to keep up with life and responsibilites.  There are people you cross in your life every day that are dealing with BIG things every day, and you don’t know it.  Always be ready to give an extra bit of grace.  The person that may be a little short with you…..the email/text that goes without a reply a little too long…..the mom that may forget to sign a folder or put $$ in her kids’ lunch account 🙋🏻😳 😂  Have a little extra patience and understanding with your fellow man.  You may (or rather WILL!!) need it one day too!

So here we are another Monday with Pa Pa.

No other place I would rather be!

Pa Pa Collage

 

When You Don’t Even Know How to Pray

Posted in Cancer, Faith, inspiration, Miracles, Prayer, Steph by

Since my Dad’s Cancer diagnosis in December, my mind has been warring between optimistic and realistic thoughts.

I recall sitting in the oncologist office in early January and staring at his PET Scan. The doctor explained to us that everything that was white was Cancer. There was so much white. More white than black in some places.

Both the optimist and realist in me know without a shadow of a doubt that with God ALL things are possible. I love a big and mighty God that can erase every last bit of this so-called incurable, inoperable cancer. That is my constant prayer.

I admit though, that the battle between the optimist and realist in me has brought some conflict in not only my thoughts but in my prayer life. While I know that prayers are answered every day, I know that many are not. If everyone’s prayers were answered, no one’s mama, daddy, or child would have Cancer. We don’t understand why some prayers are answered and some are not. I know that God has a plan though and He is in control.

So how do I pray expectantly as I am told to do in the Psalms, when the realist in me knows that my prayer for complete and total healing may not be answered?

Danged if I know.

Ha! You thought I had the answer?? Not quite 😉

I haven’t figured that out yet, but I have found a way to have peace in a turbulent time. Hebrews 4:16 encourages, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace in our time of need.” I do not know if God will heal my dad, but I know that He will provide my family with the mercy and grace to heal our aching hearts during our time of need.

Hebrews 416

Of course we always want the ultimate prayer of healing to be answered. However, we can be so grateful for the many prayers that have been answered along the way. Dad has had minimal to no side effects in his 8 weeks of chemotherapy. We had a CT Scan of his head, neck and chest today, and it showed that his very aggressive cancer is stable. It hasn’t grown at all since he started treatment. (The doctor thinks that there is a chance that it has even shrunk a bit!) That is a HUGE answered prayer. We don’t have to hope and wait for a clinical trial. Considering that this is a very rare cancer and there is no known protocol for treating it, this is truly a blessing. We found a drug that is effective on our first try!

And then there are the blessings that God gave to us without us even knowing. The doctors believe that the origination of Dad’s cancer is from a radiation treatment he got when he was a child. What if the cancer hit him 30 years earlier? Mama would have been a single mom to two girls who would have grown up without the most amazing dad. It totally sucks that we are dealing with this now, but it would have been so much worse any sooner in our lives. (I know that isn’t very eloquent, but that is just how I feel)

I don’t know how many of you may be dealing with a crisis and your optimistic and realistic selves are battling it out in your head. How do I pray about this situation just right?? Lucky for us that God doesn’t require us to say the perfect prayer to follow His perfect plan. He just wants us to come to Him. I encourage you to pray with all your heart and soul. Be honest with Him even when it is tough and sometimes messy. He knows what is in your heart anyway.

Ask Him to fill you with His grace and mercy during your time of need.  And He will.