Category Archives: Cancer

Why I (Over)Share the Hard Stuff

Posted in Cancer, Daughters, Faith, inspiration, Jesus, Parenting, Prayer, Steph by

It’s been a while since I have written here.  I could say ten different reasons why, but that is for another blog post (or most likely not).

One of the main reasons is that there is just only so much of Steph to go around.  I am saving the best parts of me for my family.  Right now that means going to chemo with my Dad every Monday.

Every week Dad and I take a selfie with a quick update, and I post it on my personal Instagram and Facebook.  Some may wonder why I (over)share about such a personal subject in a public forum.  Here are just a few reasons why I let everyone in:

  • I covet your Prayers.  I want prayers from far and wide to cover my parents, my sister and I.  I have been in a crisis situation where the prayers of my family, friends and strangers alike literally held me up.  I want that kind of strength and peace for my family that only comes through prayer.  That is the peace of God that passes all understanding that you can only have through Christ (Phillipians 4:7).
  • I want to share our Smiles & Faith.  Dad was diagnosed with a very rare, stage 4 Cancer that is not operable nor curable.  The diagnosis was very bleak when we heard it almost two years ago.  Yet we hold our hope in Jesus, so we can smile every week.  Sure there are definitely a lot of tears too.  However, we know no matter how hard things get, Jesus has us wrapped in His arms.  I am so grateful to my parents for raising my sister in I to know and love Jesus, so that we have the Faith needed to make it through the difficult times in life.  There is no greater gift that a parent can give a child.
  • I want to be a Friend.  I can’t tell you how many people who have approached me because they are either dealing with something similar with a parent or have in the past.  Whether they can share some of their wisdom with me from their experiences or we can commiserate together about our pain, it helps us both feel better and not quite so alone in our pain.
  • I want to get REAL.  In a world where your FB & Instagram feed is full of date nights, football games and pretty Christmas trees, I want to sprinkle in some reality.  If you were to see me at the kids’ school, at work, church, or Publix, you would have no clue that I am dealing with such a difficult situation.  Life doesn’t slow down just because you have a crisis you are dealing with at home. You have to keep up with life and responsibilites.  There are people you cross in your life every day that are dealing with BIG things every day, and you don’t know it.  Always be ready to give an extra bit of grace.  The person that may be a little short with you…..the email/text that goes without a reply a little too long…..the mom that may forget to sign a folder or put $$ in her kids’ lunch account 🙋🏻😳 😂  Have a little extra patience and understanding with your fellow man.  You may (or rather WILL!!) need it one day too!

So here we are another Monday with Pa Pa.

No other place I would rather be!

Pa Pa Collage

 

When You Don’t Even Know How to Pray

Posted in Cancer, Faith, inspiration, Miracles, Prayer, Steph by

Since my Dad’s Cancer diagnosis in December, my mind has been warring between optimistic and realistic thoughts.

I recall sitting in the oncologist office in early January and staring at his PET Scan. The doctor explained to us that everything that was white was Cancer. There was so much white. More white than black in some places.

Both the optimist and realist in me know without a shadow of a doubt that with God ALL things are possible. I love a big and mighty God that can erase every last bit of this so-called incurable, inoperable cancer. That is my constant prayer.

I admit though, that the battle between the optimist and realist in me has brought some conflict in not only my thoughts but in my prayer life. While I know that prayers are answered every day, I know that many are not. If everyone’s prayers were answered, no one’s mama, daddy, or child would have Cancer. We don’t understand why some prayers are answered and some are not. I know that God has a plan though and He is in control.

So how do I pray expectantly as I am told to do in the Psalms, when the realist in me knows that my prayer for complete and total healing may not be answered?

Danged if I know.

Ha! You thought I had the answer?? Not quite 😉

I haven’t figured that out yet, but I have found a way to have peace in a turbulent time. Hebrews 4:16 encourages, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace in our time of need.” I do not know if God will heal my dad, but I know that He will provide my family with the mercy and grace to heal our aching hearts during our time of need.

Hebrews 416

Of course we always want the ultimate prayer of healing to be answered. However, we can be so grateful for the many prayers that have been answered along the way. Dad has had minimal to no side effects in his 8 weeks of chemotherapy. We had a CT Scan of his head, neck and chest today, and it showed that his very aggressive cancer is stable. It hasn’t grown at all since he started treatment. (The doctor thinks that there is a chance that it has even shrunk a bit!) That is a HUGE answered prayer. We don’t have to hope and wait for a clinical trial. Considering that this is a very rare cancer and there is no known protocol for treating it, this is truly a blessing. We found a drug that is effective on our first try!

And then there are the blessings that God gave to us without us even knowing. The doctors believe that the origination of Dad’s cancer is from a radiation treatment he got when he was a child. What if the cancer hit him 30 years earlier? Mama would have been a single mom to two girls who would have grown up without the most amazing dad. It totally sucks that we are dealing with this now, but it would have been so much worse any sooner in our lives. (I know that isn’t very eloquent, but that is just how I feel)

I don’t know how many of you may be dealing with a crisis and your optimistic and realistic selves are battling it out in your head. How do I pray about this situation just right?? Lucky for us that God doesn’t require us to say the perfect prayer to follow His perfect plan. He just wants us to come to Him. I encourage you to pray with all your heart and soul. Be honest with Him even when it is tough and sometimes messy. He knows what is in your heart anyway.

Ask Him to fill you with His grace and mercy during your time of need.  And He will.

That Phase of Friendship I Wasn’t Ready For

Posted in Cancer, Faith, Infertility, inspiration, Prayer, Steph by

It started with a bunch of giggling girls putting on make-up, sipping from Red Solo cups while ready for a night on the town. Our friendship was formed through fun and blowing off steam in college.

Then we took turns throwing bridal showers, bachelorette parties, donning bridesmaid dresses and walking down the aisle. Our friendship was strengthened as we grew from girl to woman to wife.

Our friendship was strained a bit as we struggled to find the balance of marital bliss and maintaining friendships. The strong, true friends grew even closer.

Before we knew it, we were taking turns throwing baby showers. We rocked babies and shared new mama advice. We cried tears of sadness for those of us that struggled to get pregnant. Our friendship was nurtured as we cared for each other.

Careers and life Girls Trip!has spread us across the country, but we keep in touch almost daily through texts. And one glorious weekend each summer, we get together. We are once again a bunch of giggling girls only with a few well-earned laugh lines.

Now we are in a phase that we weren’t prepared to hit us so quickly. A time when instead of our texts being light hearted with private jokes and summer plans, they are filled with tears and requests for prayers. Almost half of our group of girlfriends are dealing with serious illnesses with our parents or in laws. As you get older, you know that you will have to deal with the natural progression of your parents aging, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it in my 30s.

Although I hate that we are faced with this phase already, I am so grateful for their friendship. We are all fortunate to have wonderful, loving, and supportive husbands. But sometimes you just need your girlfriends. Husbands have it engrained in them to be “fixers.” Unfortunately, there is no “fixing” this situation. Sometimes you just have to talk it out….cry it out…and even laugh.

That is why God gives us girlfriends.

Because my close friends, Jodi, Nancy and I are all facing similar battles with our loved ones, we are able to support each other unlike no other. Nancy and I sat on the phone last week and just cried together because we understood exactly what the other was feeling and because simply…we could. That is just what friends do. God works through Jodi to call or text just when I need that pick me up. I like to think He does that through me for her too. After years of friendship, we are so in tune with each other that we know when to reach out to each other despite the 1,000 miles that separates us. But most importantly, we pray for each other. We know the importance of prayer for the patient but also the family surrounding them.

Although I wasn’t ready for this phase of life or friendship, I am thankful for my girlfriends that help me get through it sane.

As I write this, I am listening to my own daughter giggle and sing as she and her friend, Bonney, are making a dance video. It makes me smile. I pray that Ella is blessed with girlfriends like mine that will be there for her through all the ups, downs, and phases of life

CHOOSING to be Positive :)

Posted in Cancer, Faith, Humor, inspiration, Prayer, Steph by

Last week I wrote about how I was going to CHOOSE to be positive in light of my dad’s cancer diagnosis.  Well here it is in action:

Celebrating the small (not so small) stuff:

1. We woke up this morning.
2. We were well enough to attend church and come see Pa Pa (he stayed home to be safe)
3. Pa Pa still feels good 4 days post chemo!!
4. Getting to eat lunch with Mimi and Pa Pa.
5. Good…no awesome…hair days. Maybe we can use my trimmings to make PaPa an Awesome wig. Kinda like JT during the NSync years 󾌴󾌴;)

Southern Lady-7

Rejoice in the Lord always.  Again I say Rejoice.  Philippians 4:4