Saturday night my family went to a Christmas party at our good friend’s house. I love me a good Christmas party. Get dressed up. Talk to adults. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
When we got there, the kids rushed to the basement to play with the other kids. Eric and I mingled between the eclectic group of his, hers and their friends at the party. I found myself standing at the kitchen island talking to a guy having the standard get to know you chit-chat.
Where are you from?
Do you have kids?
What do you do?
I am finally able to say “Writer” with a straight face. Instantly, I was the most interesting woman in the world. We had a good conversation about blogging and the publishing process. Then came the question. “So what is your book about? Is it a novel? Mystery? Thriller?”
“No. Actually, I wrote a book about infertility. It is about my battle with it, how I overcame it and what I learned along the way.”
His eyes instantly started darting around the room searching for his wife, his buddy, anyone that he could rush to talk to instead of me.
As Matthew would say, Seriously??
Grow. A. Pair. My Infertility isn’t catching. Your swimmers will keep on swimming in spite of your proximity to an infertile person. That’s not how it works. And remember the first part of our conversation? I have three kids. Obviously I overcame infertility and am not going to turn into a babbling pile of hormonal tears on you.
As Eric likes to say, “We kicked infertility’s a$$.”
I remember when I was younger and in the trenches with infertility, I felt the same way. I only told a hand full of people because it is such a private struggle. Some were supportive but some avoided me like the plague.
If someone is brave enough to share their struggle with you, then reciprocate that bravery. Be there for them. Don’t avoid them. You can’t catch Infertility.
Nothing you can say will magically make things better. You aren’t expected to fix things. We, of all people, know that there are no easy fixes. And as hard as it is for you, it is a million times harder for them. A hug, an “I love you,” and “I’m praying for you” go a long way.
Then don’t just say you will pray. Do it. Pray for peace for them. Pray for the strength of their marriage. Pray for them to be surrounded by supportive people. And pray for God to give you comforting words for them when they need them.
This is totally written tongue and cheek. Had we not gone through the experience with our own battle, we could have had the same reaction. Alas, that is why I write – to help raise what I like to call your C.Q. – Compassion Quotient.
And because we could all use a laugh….check out these “Most Interesting Man in the World” quotes. Hysterical. Oh gosh. It is toss up which one is my favorite. The Weeping Willow, the Holy Grail and Russian all had me in tears.
Happy Monday. Just eleven days till Christmas!