I wanted to share my interview with fellow Christian author, Ginny Priz, about my battle with Infertility. It is filled with a message of HOPE in a very desperate time. Please share with someone who has a similar struggle or maybe just loves someone that is dealing with Infertility.
Stephanie Greer – Beauty From Ashes interview
For more information, you can read my book, “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility…Twice.”
Life can be a series of highs and lows. My life has certainly been a testament to that. Met and married my wonderful husband Eric – High. Tried to conceive for a couple of years, failed fertility treatments, surgery – Low. Successfully got pregnant through IVF – HUGE High! High risk Pregnancy that left me on bed rest for what felt like most of my pregnancy – Low. Delivering premature but healthy twins – High/Low. Six weeks being separated from them in the NICU – Low.
I could go on and on. Today I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite Highs. He is my little Miracle High. Eric and I were told that there is absolutely no way that we could conceive. That is why we went through IVF to conceive Ethan and Ella. I have no doubt that it was indeed a fact. As I said this is a Miracle High.
Here is an excerpt from my family blog in 2008:
Ah I woke up just like the day before. I had no idea that this morning would change all our lives so much! Eric was getting ready for work and I was in bed watching Sports Center (his choice not mine). I remembered that I needed to call in a prescription that day. Before I could get it, I had to take a pregnancy test. My cycle was running way too long and I needed to get on progesterone to get me back on track. I always thought this was a funny thing for me of all people to have to do. I mean we know I can’t get pregnant. On top of that, I went back on birth control after I had Ethan and Ella. I simply was taking it for convenience sake. Eric and I often laughed about all the money we wasted on all those birth control pills early in our marriage. So off I went to pee on my little stick. Unloaded the dishwasher, sat down and watched TV for a minute. Should I get the kids up? Oh no wait….better go check the test and get that out of the way.
I walked into the guest bath and looked at the test on the sink. Double take…..was that TWO lines? Huh? I must be seeing things. I heard Eric say something, so I threw the hand towel over the test and jumped back in bed. Eric said, “Why do you look so weird?” I was still in shock so I said, “just tired.” He went back to the closet to finish getting dressed and I ran back to the bathroom for a second look. Yes. Definitely 2 lines. How did this happen??? I mean I know how it happens for most, but not us! We were told that we couldn’t get pregnant on our own. Holy cow. Eric’s birthday was the next day. Boy could I have fun with this!!! I ran upstairs to get the babies up and whispered my secret in their tiny ears. I am pretty sure they smiled.
Thankfully Eric left shortly after that. (I was told later that I was in MAJOR trouble for letting him go to work because he would have called in sick. Whoops 🙂 I quickly called my mom, my sister, and Kristen. Kristen, my personal OB nurse, reassured me that the home tests were pretty accurate. Even so I had my mom come over so I could get an official blood test at the doctor’s office. I still didn’t believe it. I went and looked at the home test again. Still 2 lines! When I called the doctor’s office to get the test they acted like I was crazy. “Mrs. Greer, we usually don’t do blood tests if you have a positive home test.” I replied, “I know, but I don’t believe it. When can I come in?” I went in immediately, got my blood drawn, and paid to have the results to me stat.
All day I was avoiding calls from Eric and his sister, Amy. How in the world could I play this one off? I couldn’t even sit down I was so excited! I finally got the “official positive” test results from the doctor. Hallelujah! Praise God!! I checked the home test one more time and finally threw it in the trash.
Now how in the world would I give Eric the total shock of his lifetime??? The way we found out we were pregnant with Ethan and Ella was so impersonal. We called into a voicemail box and listened to a stranger tell us the good news. Not that we minded one bit. We were finally pregnant!!
I decided I would get the kids Big Brother and Big Sister T shirts, take their pictures in it, frame it, and give it to Eric for his birthday. Well I am not sure how many of you have tried to get a 16-month old kid to stand still so you can get a good picture of them. Now throw in a second child. It isn’t possible. Just take it from me. So I decided the next best thing was to just wrap up the shirts and let Eric open those.
We waited on pins and needles until Eric got home. Of course since we were anxiously awaiting him, he didn’t get home until after 7. After the kids bath, Eric read them a story and they just had to give their Daddy an early birthday present. He didn’t know it, but I was recording the whole thing : )
I turned the camera off right after I told him so we could all snuggle. There were lots of happy tears all around. I was told later that Eric was thinking “Why in the world did she give me some shirts for the kids for my birthday?” Apparently what I thought was pretty plain isn’t plain to a man.
“Oh you will blink, and they will be all grown up!”
I usually hear this in the check-out line in Publix. After I have battled my way through every dang aisle with my three children.
Put that back!
Don’t hit your brother!
Don’t hug your sister. That always ends bad.
Stay by me and the cart, so they can pass by.
OUCH!!! You don’t have to be on top of me!
Don’t stop in front of the cart!
OUCH!!! Don’t hit me with the cart!
For Pete’s Sake! Don’t put your mouth on the cart!!!!!!
Although I offer a sweet smile and nod to the little old lady, inside I may be gritting my teeth and spewing a few choice words.
But even deeper down, I know she is right.
Then there has been this week. We had two bursts of snow in Tennessee that has amounted to over 7 inches of snow and 6 out of the last 7 days stranded at home.
Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE snow days…. until I don’t 😉 I loved every minute of it until about hour number 96 of not leaving the house. My kids and I are all social creatures who get to a point where we long to be social with someone who doesn’t share the last name. And the homemaker in me is ready to let Chik Fil A cook a meal and give my dishwasher a break from the two loads a day it has been doing the last week. I just need a day for my sanity and, honestly, theirs too.
I know when my kids are off to college, I will miss it. I may see some sweet neighborhood kids out building a snowman and say to the mother, “Oh you will blink, and they will be all grown up!” They may force a grin with their tired, snow day weary bodies. And I hope I remember. I hope I remember that, although, there are fabulous memories being made, it is a lot of work.
This is what getting three kids ready for a snow day at my house looked like this week:
It doesn’t just have to be a snow day. Sometimes just a Tuesday can run you ragged. Last week my husband was working late, so I was putting my three kids to bed by myself. My older two children read to themselves before bed. I was tired after a long day and ready to trim our 30-minute going to bed routine to 20 minutes. I asked my 7 year old, Matthew, if he wanted to read to himself instead of me reading to him before bed. He was SO excited to be a big kid reader. By the time I finished snuggling, chatting, and praying with Ethan and Ella, Matthew’s light was turned off.
I couldn’t help myself as I went back in his room, snuggled a little more, and got a book to read to him.
Because I am going to blink one day, and he will be all grown up.
Relish reading books, snuggles and the snow days. But give yourself a little grace if you need a minute to recharge your batteries because being a mom is hard work.
On the SevenFREAKINteenth day of Christmas break, I was busy giving myself a pretty good guilt trip.
I need to get out in the sub-zero weather and peddle some Girl Scout cookies with Ella.
I really should take the kids somewhere fun on one of their last days of break.
And then after looking at Facebook…Oh look at the super fun trip they are on!!! Geez my poor kids don’t get to do anything fun.
Alas, my nose was running like a faucet, and I had a ton to do to get ready before my Daddy’s surgery on Wednesday. My sweet friend, Rheanne, gave me a pep talk when I was having a mini breakdown. She reminded me that the kids were going to be just fine and that I just needed to focus on taking care of myself and my daddy.
So I allowed myself to remove “Entertainer” from my Mama job description and let them entertain themselves. And guess what? The day was pretty awesome. Sure we stayed in our pajamas all day. And Matthew played his Lego Dimensions WAY too much, but he also colored an entire dinosaur coloring book. No one fought (excessively that is) and I didn’t have to take anyone to the ER. Score!
When I found the below video on my iPhone after the umpteenth low storage message on my phone, I decided we need to have a lot more days like this where the kids can just be kids.
Too many quotes that I love to even pick one! Of course I had to find the original one that they made a couple of years ago…
We (me included) spend so much time trying to make sure our kids are involved in the right activities, getting good grades and all the other absurd pressures for kids today.
We need to just let them be kids, have fun, use their imagination and record a talk show in their room with their big sister 🙂
I LOVE my kids. However, they have been out of school almost two weeks with one week to go. Here are 5 reasons I will be the first in drop off line in January:
1. I have no clue what day of the week it is.
2. At one point, I had each kid, my husband and the dog in separate corners. And they were still finding a way to fight through the air vents!!!
3. I desperately need a buy lunch option in the cafeteria
4. They keep uncleaning my Spring cleaning. (Husband included)
5. When I banish them to the backyard for 15 minutes, I spend an hour scrapping mud pies off tennis shoes from our torrential Tennessee Winter Thunderstorms.
But here are 5 reasons I will miss the 3 littles pieces of my heart the instant they step on the sidewalk:
1. Morning snuggles
2. Lazy breakfast with lots of laughter
3. Movie popcorn and snuggles
4. Random “I Love Yous” throughout he day
5. No 3rd grade homework or tears 😉
I am not sure if my youngest, Matthew, is actually related to me. I mean I look at him and see that he is the perfect combination of Eric and me, but there is something that is just off about him.
He hates football. Seriously. Hates it. He can’t honestly be a Greer and hate football. I mean it is our family tradition.
We can usually convince him to go to the first few games, but I never make it to a game past mid-October. Eric still goes with Ethan and Ella rallies sometimes too. I stay home with the Grinch who hates football.
Yesterday on the way home from our trip, I asked Matthew why he hated football. Without skipping a beat he growled (just like the Grinch)…
When they get in the stadium it is filled with that
Noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise!
Then they Feast!
Feast! Feast! Feast! Feast!
They feast on popcorn and nachos and hot dogs
And they Sing!
Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!
They Sing Rocky Top every time they score!
I cannot take it any more!!!
Drop the freakin mic.
I am just passing the MacBook on to him.
Peace Out.
I have done the “Black Friday” experience a number of different ways, but this year I freakin NAILED it.
A couple of years ago, my sister in law had the “iPad Christmas” for her triplets. Obviously, that mandated a late night Wal-Mart run in order to save literally hundreds of dollars. And we had a blast. Our husbands came too and it was like the most hysterical, entertaining, pitiful double date. And I didn’t even have to get dressed up. We plotted and strategized. Drank caffeine way too late. Found the Blu-Ray player I didn’t even realize I HAD to have. Made friends with complete strangers in line. Searched for the ever-elusive $3.99 chopper for Nana. Combed through $5 DVDs that we would never watch. Sent the boys to investigate when we heard there was a fight over a basketball goal. But the bottom line was even though our goal was to get gifts for kids…there were none in sight. Holla!
This year that was no big item that necessitated Wal-Mart crazy. There is one thing on my kids’ list that was $50 off. After thinking about it, we decided we would pay $50 to have a chill Thanksgiving night. Since I was sawin’ logs before 10:00, that was a solid choice.
Our Black Friday morning tradition is to go to the town square in Eric’s home town, Paris, TN, to see Santa come to town in the fire engine. How many more years will our kids be excited to do this??? “Santa is coming!!!” (You have to read this like Buddy the elf). We saw Santa come in and even got a hug from Mrs. Claus. Afterwards, we went and shopped at some local businesses that were full of Christmas cheer. My favorite, of course, is “My Favorite Things,” were Nana works. It is such a cute shop with tons of character and is filled with lots of things that could become my next favorite thing 😉
We went home to have a plate of leftovers even though we were no where near hungry…because I will have to wait a whole other year to eat Thanksgiving food again, so why not??!! We packed up our stuff ready to head back home to Nashville.
As soon as we got home and got everyone squared away, I headed out to do my Black Friday shopping…a full 24 hours past the official start. And friends, after 6 days of non-stop family, I was seriously needing some Steph Time. I love my family; there isn’t a single one that I don’t love to freakin pieces. But sometimes it is nice to just not have to talk. Just have peace and quiet.
So naturally I went to my zen place – Target. I pulled into the parking lot with my list and nearly got a front row Joe parking spot. Score. Sure I had to flick some stale popcorn from the bottom of the cart, but there were plenty of carts to choose from. Score. Found my 7′ un-lit tree (because I have sworn off pre-lit trees because the lights always go out and look janky) Score. Got all our super cute clothes on sale for our angel. Score. Scanned, bagged, and paid for with my Red Card in less than an hour. Score. And I figure since a lot of the DVDs and Door Buster things that I would have just thrown in my cart were gone, I actually came out ahead savings wise! SCORE!!
So I think I have this Black Friday thing figured out. (For me anyway). Enjoy Thanksgiving and Friday morning. Let the crazies get off the road and out of the stores 😉 Then the world (or Target) is your oyster. At least until we have the “iPad Christmas.” Although, Mama doesn’t even have an iPad yet, so we have some time yet 😉
So tonight I can relax with a glass of Chardonnay, while I watch my husband put up my new tree and string the lights. (Because he won’t let you touch the tree or lights because I may have strung them one year and it looked janky, so I lost Christmas tree privileges. Really who is the winner now??? 😉 Score.
I hope y’all have a blessed Thanksgiving. I am thoroughly enjoying spending some time off with my family this week.
This verse is near and dear to my heart. I am reminded daily of God’s grace and my three blessings.
Sometimes I would like to place my family in a big, ole bubble. Safe from sadness…pain…fear…harm.
Unfortunately, that utopia is not the world we live in today.
I admit I try to create my own pseudo bubble. I rarely watch the news for two reasons. I never know what atrocity may be covered that I don’t want my kids to see. Secondly, I want to block out the evil in this world for myself too.
On Friday evening, we were loaded up headed to dinner as a family when I was scrolling though Facebook and saw some references to Paris. I glanced back at the kids who were chatting away and whispered to Eric, “What happened in Paris?” The details were still coming in, but what I heard was horrifying. We got to the restaurant and were surrounded by ten TVs. Nine of them had basketball and one had news coverage of the attacks in Paris. I silently willed Ethan’s eyes to stay trained on the Kentucky basketball game inside our bubble and away from the news channel.
After we put the kids to bed, we turned on the TV news to get caught up on what was going on in Paris. It was heartbreaking to see all these innocent people terrorized and killed. It was apparent that it was an orchestrated terrorist attack on the people. We watched until one channel showed a particularly gruesome scene from one of the cafes. The commentator proudly boasted that they only showed this picture once an hour, left the image on the screen a few more moments than was appropriate, and then left it on even longer.
I decided I had enough and went to bed to pray for Paris, to pray for the world leaders, and especially to pray for my children and this world in which we are rearing them.
We are at a point where the bubble has burst. I knew I had to talk to my children about the tragedy and what it means to us. I have twins that are nine and a seven year old. It is not a conversation that is easy to have with kids, but I felt like they were old enough that I could have an age-appropriate conversation with them. Because here’s the deal: If I don’t take charge and talk to them about it, they will hear about it from somewhere else. It is my responsibility to make sure that they hear about the scary things in this world from me so that I can reassure them.
I sat them down on Saturday and told them the high points about what happened in Paris. I didn’t go into a lot of details, but I let them know the truth. I told them that a group of radical Islamic people attacked and killed innocent people in Paris. We had talked about radical Islam before when they learned about September 11th. We also spent a lot of time talking about the difference of the majority of peaceful Muslims, like some of their friends at school, and radical Islam. My German teacher in high school, Frau Colley, used to always say, “All generalizations are false,” before she told us anything about the culture. That has stuck with me. I have also passed it on to my children. I am a Baptist and worship a loving, forgiving God. I would hate if I were lumped in with a well-known group of detestable Baptists.
However, I did let them know that there is a group of hateful people that make it their mission to terrorize people. They do not worship God like we do. They do not know peace and love. They have a very twisted and evil form of their own religion that is based on hate.
I also reassured them. Granted we do not know what the future brings, and we can speculate all we want about radical Islam infiltrating our country. But that is nowhere near appropriate to discuss with my children. This is my job: to assure them that Mama and Daddy will keep them safe, and to emphasize that the police officers and soldiers that we just celebrated on Veteran’s Day make it their life’s mission to keep them safe. They are learning about government in their Social Studies classes. We talked about the importance of electing politicians that will keep them safe. And the most important thing that they can do is to pray. We can pray to God to watch over us, our police, our armed forces, and our world leaders to help keep our children safe.
In addition, I understand that all families will choose differently about how they address or not address the current events. For that reason, I also told them that they were not to discuss it at school or with their friends. As is my normal rule, they will never get in trouble if they come directly to their dad or me to talk about anything that they hear at school that upsets them, they don’t understand, or that just doesn’t sit right with them. However, if they talk to their siblings or friends about it, there will be consequences. They know and feel comfortable enough to always come to us first.
The bubble has burst y’all. I am going to educate my children. I will support my law enforcement and armed forces. I will pray for the world leaders and educate myself before I vote in the next election so that I do my part to keep my babies safe.
I will do all these things while knowing in my heart, “The Lord is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…” Psalm 46: 1-2a (NKJ)
Hey. It’s me. Steph? The Southern Lady Mama? Remember me?
Whew. Good. Sorry it has been a while. I had to peel myself off of the wall that I hit last week 😉
Last week was cra-zy. Some good crazy. Some bad crazy.
I am fortunate enough to spend a good bit of my free time volunteering at my kids’ school. Last week was Book Fair, and I am 
on the committee that runs the show. It is incredibly fun and extremely rewarding. We sold almost $30,000 in books in five days. That’s HUGE! It was fun to be part of, but at the end of the day, I looked forward to my heating pad and a glass (or 2) of Chardonnay. In the midst of that, we had a health scare with both my uncle and my dad. Needless to say, there were some sleepless nights, tears shed, and numerous prayers said.
When we finally closed down the book fair on Friday afternoon, I had another big event on my calendar. 20 Brownies camping at my house the next day. And I hadn’t cleaned a lick all week. And Eric, my husband, was leaving to go out of town for a much needed guys weekend. And I have never started a fire by myself. And I have never pitched a tent. And I had a solid foot of leaves on my back deck. And I really wanted to shove the 4 pages of directions that Eric left for the tent and leaf blower up his nose. Can you feel my anxiety level rising?
Saturday morning I pulled out the tent and the 4 pages of directions (complete with diagrams) and tried to tackle pitching my first tent in all my 38 years. Ella “helped” me by swinging on the tree branch and running and catching pages when the wind caught them. At one point when the $%## pole went the wrong way for the 10th time, she said, “It’s no use. We can’t do it without Daddy’s help.” That made me even more determined to get it up. I made her help me more and after another painful 20 minutes, we got the tent up. I asked her what she learned and she answered, “That you can say the ‘s’ word and I can get away with saying ‘crap’ when we are pitching a tent!” #Truth However, I was thinking more along the lines of us putting our minds to something, perseverance, determination. But no, she gets the free pass on a foul mouth.
What she did get from her Brownie campout was a great lesson about friendship. They played games. They just ran around and were silly. They told stories around the campfire that I started!!!! (Where’s my badge!!??) They wrote poems for each other. They had a dance party. The moms even Whip Whip Ney Neyed for the girls. (To which Ella quickly told me, “I would rather not see that again.”) They made smores and drank hot chocolate. They made memories that would last a lifetime.
The ultimate compliment was when one of the Brownies asked if she could come camp out at our house again next week J
So while I look at the last week where I literally ran myself ragged, I am just so thankful that I can. I am thankful for my uncle and dad’s health, which I was reminded this week, can turn on a dime. We cannot take it for granted for one second. I am thankful that Eric is supportive of me “working” full time and not earning a cent. I am thankful that I can use some of my talents at my kids’ school. I am thankful that I didn’t miss a second of the excitement of the book fair. It won’t be long before kids will be ashamed to be so openly excited about books. I am thankful for a home that my daughter’s friends want to come back to again and again. I am thankful that my daughter is making friends and memories that will last a lifetime and that she wants me to be a part of it. I am thankful that I am making new friends through the other mamas because this Mama thing is tough and we need each other,
And I was very thankful for my fuzzy blanket, comfy chair and Kindle coma day that I had on Sunday (and maybe part of Monday) to recuperate.
The Southern Lady Mama 