Category Archives: inspiration

Moses, the Nursing Mother

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I am honored to have my good friend, Jessie Weaver, guest post this evening.  She has been a great friend and prayer partner for almost ten years.  Thanks Jessie 🙂

Enjoy!

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Breastfeeding has been a very sweet part of my relationships with my kids. I know it’s not that way for everyone, or even many. But for me, it’s been relatively easy (at least until the kids hit 9 months or so). And it feels like something I thrive at!

I can supply all the nutritional needs of a human being! I make milk! I make babies fat! My own body gives my children what they need—for free!

I can’t deny that it does begin to wear on me after awhile, though. My precious David has always been a major Mama’s Boy. His whole infancy, he just wanted to nurse. All the time. And he continued to nurse until he was 20 months old. (About when I got pregnant with Joshua, which I think is probably why he stopped.)

By the end of our nursing experience, I was pretty over it. He no longer needed those nutrients, although they didn’t hurt, of course. But I was tired of being screamed at every morning as he cried for “GAGA!” 
I was tired of being exposed in public as he pulled on my shirt.

The nursing relationship is very give, give, give, and you don’t get a whole lot from it, except some good snuggles and bursts of oxytocin.

In Numbers 11, Moses is plain fed up with feeling like a nursing mother. I can’t blame him, really, given that he was a pretty old dude responsible for what was probably more than a million people.

In this chapter, the “foreign rabble” traveling with the Israelites have begun to wish for Egypt—the food, in particular. Then all the people start complaining to Moses, wanting the vegetables they left instead of the manna God was providing miraculously every day.

In his complaint to God, Moses says, “Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? … I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy!” (vv. 12, 14).

No one can nurse a baby forever. Children are meant to detach from their parents.

It’s beautiful that God gives us leaders who are willing to carry us along like infants for a while, too. But leaders, just like parents, can’t carry that burden forever. Before God even took care of the “meat issue,” He assembled a pack of leaders for Moses to rely on, to ease his burden as a “parent” of these people.

Read Numbers 11 and see what happened to the Israelites and foreigners who succumbed to their whining and desires. It’s not pretty.

There comes a time for children to stop nursing and for Christians to stop being weights for their leaders.

Of this passage, Matthew Henry’s Commentary says, “We should not indulge in any desire which we cannot in faith turn into prayer, as we cannot when we ask meat for our lust. What is lawful of itself becomes evil, when God does not allot it to us, yet we desire it.”

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Jessie WeaverJessie Weaver is a freelance writer and editor and stay-at-home mom to three kids: Libbie (6), David (4), and Joshua (2). She and her family live on a private high-school campus in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Her devotional, Parenting Parables, leads moms through 30 days of quick writings and some journaling to help them see God in the everyday moments and think about the Bible in new ways. You can grab it for $2.99 for Kindle or on PDF. You can also find her on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram.

How My Disappointments Have Made Me a Better Mama

Posted in inspiration, Steph, The Book by

Who in the world messes up Jello Instant Pudding? It is three basic steps: dump mix & milk, cook & stir, dump in bowl & refrigerate. Pretty simple, huh?

Apparently not for me.

This weekend I was trying to be an overachieving Mama and cook with my kids. (I realize how pitiful it is that my definition of “overachieving” is cooking Instant Pudding ;) Ella was carefully stirring the pudding continually as it cooked. Ethan was thoroughly enjoying his job crushing the Oreos to go on top, so they could be “Dirt Cups.” 1, 2, 3 steps done with smiles.

A few hours later we pulled our pudding out to find that it was just as liquidy as when we put it in the refrigerator. “It’s ok! Let’s let it stay in over night!” The next morning was no better. My kids watched as my face fell when a full 24 hours later… it still looked like chocolate milk. No dirt cups AGAIN!

“I am sure it is because you used 1% milk,” my husband, Eric, consoled me. “Oh sweetheart, I am sure that your mix was just out of date,” my Mama soothed me.

I had 2 options. I could be humiliated, hang my head and cry. I could tear my apron off and swear to never try to cook again. OrCheers to the Dirt Cups! I could laugh. Full on belly laugh until there are tears coming down my face. “Well Nana will never let me cook Thanksgiving dinner now!!” I said between giggles. And the kids laughed hysterically too. Then we went to the store and bought pudding cups for a couple of bucks. We still had our dirt cups. We sprinkled our crushed Oreos because Ethan can smash Oreos like a BOSS.

My lesson didn’t bring about culinary genius as I hoped, but I reminded my kids to not take themself so seriously. At such a young age, so much is expected…demanded of them. They have to learn that sometimes things won’t go as you plan and how to react to that. Do you beat yourself up for screwing up? Or do you laugh, move on, and just go buy the dang pudding cups?

God gave me another opportunity to show how to deal with disappointment yesterday. Thank you, Lord. 😉

Getting a literary agent has been at the top of my to-do list since I got back from the She Speaks conference. Between getting the kids settled in school, my PTO obligations, and just life in general, I hadn’t been able to send out my letters until yesterday morning. I nearly hyperventilated before I hit “Send” with each email, but I got it done.

As soon as I sent the last one, I felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders. Like all phases in the publishing industry, it would be a while until I heard back from anyone. “Whew. Off my plate and I don’t have to worry about it for a while!”

So imagine my surprise when I heard from two of the agents within hours. They were both incredibly nice and encouraging about my book. But the bottom line is the answer was NO. It was kind of like an “It’s not you, it’s me,” kind of a rejection. However, rejection still stings. I tried to laugh it off and focus on the positive things they said. And hey, at least I won’t wait forever and get rejected! There are lots of fish in the sea…

Later that afternoon I was waiting for my kids to get out of the car – and let’s be honest, it takes them like an hour to get out of the car….gathering backpacks, lunchboxes, water bottles, random papers, a shoe that came off. I have aged another year by the time they all get out of the car. As I wait, I glance down at my phone and see I got another email from an agent. Another rejection. I didn’t even understand what this one said??!! All I heard was NO for the 3rd time in one day, and I wasn’t even mentally ready to hear back from one!

So I did the exact opposite of the day before. I cried. I tried to play it off as “allergies” at first when Ella asked if I was crying. Pretty soon, it was evident that excuse wasn’t gonna cut it. After all the backpacks were put away, I took a deep breath and talked to my kids. “Kids, Mama is a little sad right now. I need your help. I really need you to be good listeners and obey me this afternoon. I would appreciate a little more patience and grace because Mama’s nerves are a little on edge.” They nodded their heads and got straight to their homework without complaint. They were perfect angels for me all afternoon. It was a gift to my raw emotional state.

Ella's Treasures

Before dinner I got a big bear hug from Ella. She is not my overly affectionate one, so it meant even more to me. In her little hand, she held some of her prized possessions she selected from her jewelry box. “This is to cheer you up, Mama!”

For the 2nd time in 24 hours, God gave me had an opportunity to demonstrate how to handle disappointment to my children. He spoke very clearly to them through my situation:

  • Everyone experiences disappointment sometimes. Even Mamas.
  • It is okay to cry when you are sad. Sometimes you just have to let those feelings out and allow your tears to cleanse your soul.
  • Even though it is hard, you need to talk to people about why you are sad. Communication can help others understand how you are feeling and what you need from them.
  • You can show God’s love and be a great comfort to people who are sad.

As I lay in bed with Ella last night, I thanked her for being Jesus to me and giving me the love that I needed to find my smile. I also told her that I was not discouraged or giving up because I knew I was following God’s path for me. Just like when God helped me find her Daddy after dating some of the wrong fish, He has the right agent for me out in that big ole sea. He just got me three steps closer to finding them.

How This Simple Game Can Solve Any Problem

Posted in inspiration, Kids Wisdom, Matthewism, The Blessings by

“Rock, Paper, Scissors, GOD!!!!”How This Simple Game Can Solve Any Problem

(God is jazz hands in case you were wondering…)

This was the new game that my three young children were playing. Over. And over. And over again.

Have I mentioned that my kids are a tad bit on the weird side? I have no clue where they came up with this variation on the classic game. The rules were similar to how I played:

Rock smashes Scissors.

Paper covers Rock.

Scissors cut Paper.

Then there was their addition. God. Simply put, God beats everything.

Even given that divine slam-dunk, they didn’t choose God every time. Then they would be shocked if their sibling chose God and won. My husband, Eric, and I would die laughing.

Why wouldn’t you choose God every dang time??

But we are all that way, aren’t we? When we are faced with a tough situation, do we always make the right choice? Do we immediately choose God? Or do we choose:

Rock (trying to deal with the issue on our own),

Paper (avoiding the issue by filling up our life with distractions) or

Scissors (talking to everyone else about it except God)?

Rock? Paper? Scissors? God?

BAM. God Wins. Every dang time.

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My youngest, Matthew, put a different spin on it this weekend. Instead of doing Rock, Paper, Scissors, or God, he added a new one. He made a motion in sign language. When I asked what it was, he yelled, “I just went all Holy Spirit on you!!”

Never in this world has this phrase ever been uttered.

How Am I Still Standing?

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God can open doors to new friendships when you least expect it. On the first day of Kindergarten, I was excited about the new friendships my children would make. I was pleasantly surprised when I made some new friendships of my own with their friend’s moms. One of my friends, Devon, and I have grown close over the last three years as our children have become quite the bosom buddies. She has held my hand and prayed for me during some of the most difficult times. I absolutely treasure her friendship.

This summer she encountered a crisis of her own that I was able to help pray through with her. She shared with me a blog that she wrote to help deal with her intense grief. I felt so blessed by her refreshing honesty and amazing faith. She bravely agreed to share her experience so that you too can be blessed.

Psalm 73:26  “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.”

Life was going along swimmingly.  We had “survived” 3 surgeries in 2 months at the beginning of the school year, and we were coasting our way into summer. My husband, Tom, and I had been praying about putting our house on the market. Our prayer was quickly answered by a couple wanting to buy our house before it was even listed!

Excellent, prayer request answered!

We found a house to buy with all of our wish list items and were able to close and get some work done before we even moved in.

Fantastic, prayer request answered!  

As the school year came to a close, we prepared to move again (for the 7th time in our marriage!). I had no stress about it; we had moved so many times I felt like a pro!

You know, there is a list of “Top Stressors in Life.” Moving is #3.

Well that’s when life got interesting.  On top of moving, I was planning a big birthday celebration for Tom. We had family and friends coming in from out of town.  That by itself was not stressful.  However, add moving two weeks before said friends arrive….it becomes somewhat stressful.

On June 2nd, three days after moving in, my dear friend, Melissa, took my three kids for the morning. I desperately needed some uninterrupted time to tackle my to-do list!

Great, prayer request for time to get things done!  Answered!!!

Then the bottom dropped out of my little world that I felt so in control of.  I returned home to find my parents at my

Devon & Her Cousin

Devon & Her Cousin

house with awful news that my cousin, who was four years younger than me, had been murdered.  Yes, murdered.   I am thankful in hindsight that my kids were not home to see the reaction I had.

An instant shattering of ones heart is not a pleasant thing to witness.

Remember that list of “Top Stressors in Life??” Death of a loved one is #1 on that list.

Over the next two weeks I had to function like a normal person, unable to grieve freely.  I had three young kids at home, a party to plan, and boxes to unpack.   Through it all I would lay awake at night and I just kept thinking, how am I still standing?  How am I moving through each day in one piece?

And I heard this still small voice saying, “I am the One that sustains you.”

I knew this.  The funny thing was…I hadn’t asked for God’s strength.  In fact, I hadn’t been talking to God at all.  I tried, but I just didn’t have any words to say. He was the one keeping me upright, keeping my path straight, sustaining me, giving me grace for each day, and I didn’t even have to ask.   What an amazing thought!   God knows what we need even when we don’t know what we need.  His loving kindness never fails!

1 Peter 5:7  “Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.”

Psalm 34:18  “God is near to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

I don’t know if you are in a season of busyness, stress, or grieving. Or all three!

But I do know that if you are exhausted, Jesus gets it.

If you are overwhelmed, Jesus gets it. 

And if you are angry and life seems unfair, HE GETS IT!

Psalm 121: 1-2 “I lift my eyes up to the mountains; From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”

I also know that there are some things we experience in this life that we will NOT get answers to this side of heaven. That is a hard truth.

We can find hope and peace when we accept that our “whys” rest on the God who knows the beginning and the end.  And His way is perfect.

1 Corinthians 13:12  “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.”

How inspiring to be able to find solace in Jesus’ arms and to be reminded of His faithfulness in such a tragic situation.  If you would like to contact Devon, her email is dlh.cunningham@gmail.com.

The Two Greatest Mama Directions

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Mama Directions-2

Be kind. Say please and thank you. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. Say your prayers. Eat your fruit and vegetables. Read at least 20 minutes a day. Keep your hands to yourself. Wash behind your ears. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Please quit tooting.

These are the directions that I pepper my children with daily. At times, it can be overwhelming for them (and me!) but it is necessary. Raising children is tough work. There are some days when I lie in bed and think, “Well, I really blew it today!” Instead of talking about good choices with Ella, I made a bad choice and argued back with her. The kids fought all afternoon. I yelled. Their dinner plates did not have a single vegetable or fruit on it. My dinner plate was a bag of microwave popcorn. I didn’t read with Matthew today. I ran around all day and still didn’t accomplish everything I meant to. And I am pretty sure I nodded off during Ethan’s prayer. Mama. Of. The. Year.

Even though I fail sometimes, all of these lessons are necessary. I mean we want kids who can function in society with manners and no tooting, right? As I sat in Sunday School this week, I was reminded that of all the lessons I teach my kids, there are a couple that are the greatest.

Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 15: 37-39, NIV)

We have been singing Amazing Grace and Jesus Loves Me since they were in my belly. My babies know how much Jesus loves them, and they are growing to love Him more and more each day. What a comfort to me that they will grow up having Jesus in their heart and by their side.

The second commandment can be tough. When everyone is getting along and it is good times, it is easy to love your neighbor as yourself. But what about those times when thy neighbor isn’t being nice? What about when your neighbor can be down right un-neighborly?

Ella came home last week upset. “Mama, can we have some alone time?” She crawled in my lap and cried big, fat tears as she told me about how her feelings were hurt at school. My Mama bear side wanted to say, “Sissy, what would Taylor say?? Shake ‘em off, girl. Go swing with someone else! You don’t need friends like that!” What was that scripture?   Oh yeah. Love your neighbor as yourself. There was no condition like “Love your neighbor as yourself….so long as they are loving to you too!”

After some rocking, hair smoothing, and praying for the right words, I gave it my best shot. “Ella, sweet girl, I am so sorry your feelings got hurt. You can’t control how they act, but you can control how you act. Continue to be kind to them, and let’s pray for them to make better choices. Spend time with your friends that are being kind and don’t take your friendship for granted. When the other ones realize they made a bad choice (because you know they will because girls are fickle as all get out!), forgive them. Your best friends, however, need to be those friends that treat you the way you treat them…with kindness. Those are the best kinds of friends that you hold close to you.”

I may fail on a lot of my Mama Objectives. I can’t make my boys quit burping or tooting (and Lord knows I have tried!!). I don’t always succeed by having the perfect food pyramid in my kids’ diet. I may have to shoot “crazy eyes” before I get a please and thank you.  And I get frustrated and raise my voice more often than I care to admit.

But if I focus on the great commandments in my family’s life, it’s all gonna be alright.

18 Big, Honkin’ Windows

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“I just want to make enough to buy new windows for my house.”

He smiled and gently told me, “Well, that probably isn’t going to happen.”

This was the conversation that I had almost a year ago when I met with a gentleman about the merits of self-publishing my book.

Gosh I was naïve on so many levels. First of all, our adorable 80s ranch has 18 floor to ceiling windows. Awesome for lighting and curb appeal. Not so awesome when you have to actually purchase 18 big, honkin’ windows. It was going to take a MINT to replace all of those windows. Second of all, you generally do not make a MINT when you self-publish a book. See my issue?

My heart was in the right place. I just wanted to do something to help out. When you buy a fixer upper, there is always something that needs to be done. We have been able to tackle several projects.   However, the windows were a big one on our list that taunted us. We just couldn’t afford to take on such a big expense. Every time I walked by a window in the winter and felt an Arctic blast, they sneered at me. When it was 100 degrees and I kept the blinds closed so it wouldn’t get too hot, they mocked me.

I didn’t just want to be able to check it off the list, I wanted to help make it happen financially. Since I am no longer working outside of the home, sometimes I feel guilty for not contributing in a monetary fashion. I feel like I am one of the kids holding out my hands saying, “Gimme this please!!” Instead of asking for baseball cards, I am asking for things like a washer, dryer or 18 big, honkin’ windows. $$$

18 big honkin windows

Today I had 18 big, honkin’ windows installed into my house. Yahoo!!! It is not because of anything that I, Stephanie Greer, did. God simply provided for us. God did not want me to write my book so that I can buy 18 big, honkin’ windows. He wanted me to write my book to answer His calling to minister to women. He wanted me to share His love with women who feel alone and misunderstood.

Now every time I look out my office window, I can rest in the peace that God simply wants me to follow my calling. And He will provide.

Even if it is 18 big, honkin’ windows.

Daily Prayers for My Children

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“Thank you God for my Mama, my Mimi, my Pa Pa, my Daddy, my Nana, my Papa, for Ethan, and Ella…and for Lady. In Jesus name, Amen,” prays Matthew every night – in 5 seconds flat. Ella prays the identical prayer to mine and adds a sentence of her own. Ethan says a heartfelt prayer that lasts at least 10 minutes. He prays for everything that has been laid on his heart…and that is a lot.

I feel blessed to be part of my children’s growing and maturing prayer life. Goodness knows it has been an ongoing journey for me!

Sometimes the need for prayer in my life can be overwhelming. I could pray all dang day for all the hurt in this world. As a mom though, I try to really focus on praying for my children. They are my world. They are young (8 year old twins and a 6 year old) and have so much to look forward to.

Here are the ways I pray for my children daily:

Great list of ways I can pray for my kids every day with scripture too!

  1. His Words. The most powerful way to pray to God is to pray His words back to Him. I have some of my favorite scriptures for each prayer point.
  2. Their Protection. Although we have issues here and there, we are so fortunate to have pretty healthy children. I praise God for that blessing, and recognize that it may not always be that way. I ask for God’s wisdom to guide my maternal instincts about their care. Help me be their advocate when needed. I also prayer for a hedge of protection around them each day. After watching the news, some times I don’t even want them to walk out the front door!  (Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not worry about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Also, Psalm 91, Job 1:10, Psalm 5:11)
  3. Their Faith. Ethan and Ella are new Christians and Matthew is continuing to seek. I pray for them to persevere in their faith. I want them to ask questions and for God to guide my answers as I lead them. I also recognize that being a Christian in today’s world is not as easy as it was when I was a child. I ask God to strengthen and help them stand tall in their faith.  (Ephesians 6:10 “ Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.” Also 2 Peter 3:18, Jeremiah 17:8)
  4. My parenting. I implore God to give me the discernment about how to parent each of my 3 children according to his or her individual needs. What works for one doesn’t work for them all! I also ask for guidance about skating that line of authority and friendship. I want them to respect my authority, but I always want to be approachable to my sweet babies. Also I beg for a lot of patience…every. dang. day. (Proverbs 22:6 “Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray. Also Isaiah 40: 30-31, Galatians 5:22-23)
  5. Their Behavior. I pray that their behavior is a good example of Christ’s love. They are kind, forgiving, brave, and loyal. I want them to be Jesus to someone in this world. (Romans 5:5 “God pours His perfect love into my imperfect heart.” Also Matthew 5:16, 2 Timothy 1:7, Ephesians 6:14, & again Galatians 5:22-23)
  6. Their Friends. I have impressed on my kids what I have learned in my life – it is not the quantity of friends you have, it is the quality. I don’t care if my children win any popularity contests. I care if my kids have a core group of really good friends. Friends that are kind, encouraging, loyal, and forgiving. (because they are gonna mess up sometimes!). (Proverbs 13:4 “He who walks with the wise grows wise.” Also 1 Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 27:17)
  7. Their Teachers. Since my kids are all in elementary school now, we have unfortunately, moved into the era of their lives where they spend most of their awake hours away from me. (Pardon me while I wail and beat my chest ;)) It is so important that their teachers are absolutely covered in my prayers. I pray that their families and administrators will be supportive and encouraging. And because they are with 20 kids all day – I pray for their patience. Every. Dang. Day. (Colossians 1:11 “May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” Also 1 Peter 4:10)
  8. Their Future Mr. or Mrs. A wise woman once told me to pray for my kids’ future spouses. I am not gonna lie. I wasn’t even ready to go there mentally… and I thought it was kind of weird. Now I am older (and slightly wiser) and I realize how important it is. This person is going to become my baby’s other half, why wouldn’t I pray fervently for that person? Not only that, he or she will become another one of my babies. How awesome is that? Oh yes, I desperately want to pray for them too! (Titus 2:4″ …encourage young women to love their husbands.”  I also pray for them to have the qualities in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
  9. Their Future Career. I pray for my children to be in tune with God’s whispers in their heart about where He wants them to serve. I pray that I will be supportive and encouraging no matter where they are led to go. God has blessed them all with unique talents and personalities to do just what only they can do for Him. I want to do everything I can do to encourage His plan for them along the way. (Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Also Psalm 32:8, Psalm 188:6-7)

I know it seems like a lot. I don’t go through the list and pray each of these every day. That would take me forever, and I fear would turn too monotonous. I don’t want it to be a “form prayer.” However, I do try to hit each of these areas every few days.

Except for the patience. Every. Dang. Day. 🙂

Special Thanks to my Mama and my sister for their help with the scripture references!  xoxo

My Last Kindergartener

Posted in Infertility, inspiration, The Blessings by

My Last KindergartenerI always have such mixed feelings as summer is coming to an end. Sadness because I spend all day with my three precious kids. Happiness because I spend ALL day with my three precious kids. 😉

Let’s get Real. We need a little absence to make the heart go fonder in the Greer house.

And that is for all of us. The kids came with me to help volunteer at the school this week and they were in Heaven. They were thrilled to be back at their school and get to see some of their friends. The moms worked hard, and the kids played hard. For them, it was like The Breakfast Club minus the weed, and I am pretty sure no one crawled in the air conditioning vents 😉 They cannot wait to get back to school.

As I think back to last year when my youngest, Matthew, was getting ready to enter Kindergarten, I was full of anxiety. My last baby was growing up. And I wasn’t ready to let go or move to the next season in life. A life where all my kids were in school all week. A life where I don’t have my little guy to snuggle on a Monday morning. A life where the teachers get their best, and I get their leftovers at the end of the day.

Below is my very first blog post that I published on my previous blog. I share it again to encourage those who going through a change in season now. It is incredibly tough. However, once you get used to your season, you will find the blessings in it.

August 2014 

I love living in Tennessee. I love the mountains. I love the valleys. I love the lakes. Of course I love the football. I love enjoying four glorious seasons each year. I love feeling the changes in seasons. I love to feel the warm sunshine on my face after a long, cold winter. My favorite smell is the crisp fall air after a sweltering summer.

In life we go through a lot of seasons. The change in seasons in life isn’t always as pleasant. This week I had a change in seasons. The last eight years my season has been one of a mother who spent the majority of her day caring for and nurturing my three children. This week, my youngest son, Matthew, started Kindergarten. Sure my primary role will still be their caregiver. However, the majority of our days we will be apart.

Last year when I thought about the day Matthew started Kindergarten, I wondered if I would be walking him in with his new baby sister or brother or would I need a double stroller for twins. Today I walked my baby….my last baby….into Kindergarten and walked out alone. The season of having my babies home with me is over. There is no sunshine on my face or crisp smell that cheers me up. I am sad and quite honestly lonely.

I have a choice I can make.   I can refuse to leave this season and take things into my own hands. I could go through IVF again and possibly get pregnant again. Or, there are lots of babies that need a good home. Maybe I could adopt? But let’s be honest. That baby would grow up and go to Kindergarten and this season would finally end. If I could have my way, I would probably have a baby every five years until Eric finally cut me off!

I could just be bitter about it. I could be angry. I could cry. A lot. Why won’t God let me have the children I thought I would? I had four embryos. Couldn’t one of them have worked? Why did He take away any remote chance for me to able to conceive when I had my surgery last year?

I have a confession to make. I flirted with the first choice. I camped out on the second choice for a good while too. Then, when I finished shaking my fist and yelling at God, I took a breath and I listened to God. The change in seasons in life can be tough. Sometimes down right scary. We can refuse to accept it. We can be pissed off about it. But here’s the deal, IT DOESN’T CHANGE A THING.

Here is the choice that I made. I chose to focus on the three beautiful, healthy children that God blessed me with. I chose to be thankful for the amazing supportive husband that is in my life and make up for all the romance that infertility stole from our marriage. I chose to continue to teach in a preschool so that I can share the abundant love that I have for children. I chose to share my story…no matter how hard or private…because I know that there are women who are suffering alone. I chose to praise God for the blessings and heartache. The heartache helps me to remember to focus on all of the blessings that I do have. The heartache helps me relate to other people. The heartache makes me stronger, so I can weather the next season.

Since I made that choice, I haven’t looked back. Today I am getting ready to send two third graders and a first grader to school. Would I turn back seasons if it meant I could have another child? Honestly, probably. But God has different plans for me and His plans are perfect.

During the first week of school last year, the days were soooo long. I would look at the clock and think, “How is it possible it has only be 5 minutes! 3:35 is forever away!”

Now I feel like time races by. I drop the kids off and it is like the theme from “24” is playing in my head. It is my to-do list and me against the clock. Can I get it all done before 3:35? Sure I miss having them with me during the day, and I can’t wait to hug their necks and kiss their heads when I pick them up.

I have been able to make the acquaintance of another person to help me pass the days. Her name is Stephanie Greer. I lost sight of who I was apart from my three precious kids. I am enjoying rediscovering myself and what God’s perfect plans are for me.

Embrace this chance to rediscover yourself too.

Publisher Update

Posted in Infertility, inspiration, Steph by

Business Cards – Check

One Sheet – Check

Book Proposal – Check (all 31 pages!!)

Elevator Speech – Check (and practiced at nauseam)

Getting ready for the She Speaks conference was a lot of work!  When I signed up to go the Christian speaking and writing conference, I was able to also sign up to meet with prospective publishers.  This was like a dream for me!

I self published “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility…Twice” in December.  I have never regretted doing that.  It was the clear path that God led me to take.  I think if I had pursued the traditional publishing route, I would have been overwhelmed with anxiety.  Will they reject my book?  What if they say my writing isn’t good enough?  And not just anxiety about the publishers.  What will my friends think?  Will they judge me for sharing my intimate struggles?  Instead I decided to put my nose to the grindstone and just write as God inspired me.

And God has blessed our journey together.  I have been able to comfort a lot of women.  I have become friends with complete strangers because we have shared the intimate struggle of Infertility.  It is such a blessing that a time of pain has been turned into loving ministry for me.  Everything I have been through could be to help just one person.  That is how vast God’s loves is.  Sharing my journey helped her realized that she wasn’t alone in her pain.  Sharing my pain restored her peace.

I went to get my make-up done in preparation for the conference because what better excuse??  As I was talking to the sweet lady who was helping me, she asked me what I did for a living.  That is always a tricky question for me.  I still kind of giggle when I say “A Writer.”  Why?  I don’t know.  I wrote and published a book.  I write in a blog.  It’s in my FB profile.  I mean I have business cards for Pete’s Sake!!  What more does it take to be an official writer??  😉

Any who – – just telling her that opened a door because she asked about my book.  Now the reaction I get when I tell people the name of my book is always interesting.  Men.  Completely shut down.  I might as well have said “vagina” (except I don’t even say that word.  I even giggled when I typed it.)  Women usually immediately tell me about someone they know who are infertile.  (Hello!  Validation that there is a felt need for this book!)  In this case, she told me about a co-worker who had just tragically had a late term miscarriage.  She wanted to say something to her and didn’t have a clue what to say.  I was able to talk to her about how to comfort her.  God loves those ladies so much that everything I have been through and written could have just been for them.  How AWESOME is that?  I am at complete peace with being part of that Love.

All that being said, if I had a chance to spread that Love further, would I?  Oh yea.  So I signed up to meet with publishers at She Speaks.  My first appointment was at the end of the day on Friday.  I sat in awesome training sessions all day and miraculously was able to concentrate in each one!  About ten minutes before my first interview, I snuck out to go pray and collect my nerves.  I sat in the hallway with my lucky charm my BFF, Jodi, gave me before I left.  I am not a believer in lucky charms, but the weight of it in my hand reminded me that I wasn’t alone.  I stared off in the distance and prayed.  A kind stranger saw me and came up to see if I was okay.  Her name was Debbie.  When I told her I was getting ready for a publisher appointment, she immediately asked if she could pray with me.  I sat in the middle of the hallway, hands clutched with a complete stranger, grateful tears streaming down my face, as Debbie said a heartfelt prayer on my behalf.  After a quick hug of appreciation, I dashed to clean up my mascara before my interview.

And it went AWESOME.  My first interview was also with my first choice of publishers.  She listened as I gave my spiel and asked a lot of questions.  In the end, she said I had a definite Felt Need (YES!!!), a great story, (YES!!), need to get a literary agent (On it!!) and need to continue to build my platform (that would be where YOU help by liking and sharing my blog & FB page ;).  I was so encouraged!  I honestly had no clue what would happen, and this was the best case scenario.  OH YEA!

I have learned that this is a long process.  Although this was a huge accomplishment for me, it is merely one step in a long process, and I probably won’t hear anything for several months.  But it is one step further.  My next interview went well too.  I walked into the room and instantly knew I was meeting with a matriarch of the publishing industry.  She was kind and thorough with her questions.  In the end, she told me that she only publishes ten books a year and that mine was too much of a niche market.  I thought that was fair and told her so.  However, she expressed to me that she felt strongly that I should get an agent and there definitely was a publisher out there for me.  She continued to share some much needed industry insight the rest of our time together.

I left the conference feeling reenergized and confirmed.  I am continually praying for God to direct my path for His will.

And I think I got a pretty big arrow about what way to go.

“Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.”  Proverbs 2:26

How Can Little Ole Me Make a Difference?

Posted in Infertility, inspiration, Kids Wisdom, Matthewism, Steph, The Book by

Baltimore…Chattanooga… And Now Layfayette.

I am not gonna lie, there are times when I shake my head and think, “What is this world coming to? Sweet Jesus, please just come take us home now.”

It can be so overwhelming because there is so much hurt and need in this world. Senseless Violence. Sex trafficking. Domestic Abuse. Cancer. Racism.

How can little old me make a difference?When you wanna throw your hands up, you gotta bow your head down.

What kind of an attitude is that to have? Talk about being a defeatist. That is not Stephanie Greer. And that is not what I am raising my three kids to be. No. Siree. Bob.

When you wanna throw your hands up, you gotta bow your head down. I can’t make a difference everywhere there is a need, but I can where God lays my heart.

One of my favorite songs is by Matthew West, “Do Something.” I cannot hear it without being inspired and tearing up. Every dang time.

“I woke up this morning

Saw a world full of trouble no

Thought, how’d we ever get so far down

How’s it ever gonna turn around

So I turned my eyes to Heaven

I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”

Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of

People living in poverty

Children sold into slavery

The thought disgusted me

So, I shook my fist at Heaven

Said, “God, why don’t You do something?”

He said, “I did, I created you”

Songwriter

WEST, MATTHEW

Published by

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

That’s right. He created you. He created me. And He wants me to Do Something.

Well last weekend I did something. I did something BIG. This little stay at home mom packed up and flew to Charlotte. Yes, I was the annoying person in the airport security line. Do I take my shoes off or not? Do I take my laptop out? What about my jewelry?? Because I was fancy…because I was traveling…without kids!! Cool people who travel all the time, have a little heart for those of us who fly once a year if they are lucky 😉

I traveled to Charlotte for a HUGE conference for writing and speaking. It was called She Speaks, and it produced by Proverbs 31 ministries. It was AWESOME.

I humbly sat in a room filled with eight HUNDRED women who were ready to do something. This team of sixty or so women from Proverbs 31 trained and armed us to go out to our mission fields and do something.

I met women whose ministry was to help end sex trafficking. Women who empowered women to break free from abusive relationships. Women who clothed cancer survivors in dignity. Women who worked with organizations to rescue people from extremely dangerous situations. Women who were bridging the gap between races.

And then there was little old me. A woman whose ministry is to love on mamas and sweet ladies who hope and pray to someday be a mama. How blessed am I to be called to do this?

God lays on our hearts a little piece of His kingdom that He wants us wrap up in our arms and love. We can’t do it all, but we can do something.  Whether it is volunteering your time, giving your hard earned money, or starting a ministry, you can make a difference.

Every night after dinner, my family and I take our dog, Lady, for a walk. We walk around the neighborhood and talk about our days, tell jokes, and are often quizzed about anything and everything. One night our six year old, Matthew, and I were walking hand in hand. As usual, he was quizzing me. Sometimes it is about things he learned in Kindergarten and sometimes it is about deep things. I often struggle to answer both!  I can’t remember all the word blend rules dang it!! “Mommy. Can you do nothing?” he asked. After a long, long day, I laughed and said, “Matthew, I could easily do nothing tonight!” He quickly corrected me and said, “No you couldn’t. Even if you were laying down you would be doing something.” “I suppose you are right, Matthew!” I agreed. Then he continued, “You see, God made us so that we had to be doing something all the time. So if you have to do something, then you better make it SOMETHING.”  He wiggled his eyes for emphasis 🙂

Maybe you are in a season in your life where your mission field is at home with your babies. There is no better place for a mama to spread her love. You are raising children that are going to grow up and do something. Maybe you are like me and all your babies are in school now. Now I have the luxury and a little extra time to focus on where I am called to serve. Maybe you know you want to do something, but you don’t even know where to begin! Where are your passions?  All you gotta do is pray about it, and God will make it clear.

Come on, girls. Let’s do something.