Tag Archives: prayer

That One Time When I Almost Lost it Over Rainbow Spaghetti…

Posted in inspiration, Steph, The Blessings by

I now know what the term “Running on Empty” means.

That is what I felt on Monday afternoon sitting in my car waiting to pick up my kids from school. I had been running non-stop for a week. Fundraising. Fall Fest. Matthew’s 7th bday. Planning for a birthday party at my house for all three kids in less than a week. (Whose idiotic idea was that??) Preparing for a speech that I was going to give at a local MOPS group.

rainbow spaghettiI knew God had control of it all. However, my human nature was freaking out, and I knew that the Devil was ready to pounce. When I got home I really wanted nothing more than to lock myself in my room and just have a good old fashioned crying jag to rinse away all these negative thoughts in my head. There was no time on the schedule for that though. I had three kids to help with their homework. I also had a special dinner of “Rainbow Spaghetti” planned for my birthday boy. I kept praying to God to help me get control and not let Satan pull me down.

As I pulled into my house a flood of relief washed over me when I saw my husband’s big, black truck parked in the drive. He never gets home until right before the kids go to bed. The kids were out of their minds with excitement to see him home. He is like a Rock Star every time he walks in the house… “Daddy!! Daddy!!” they always chant while pulling at his pant legs 😉 I was so happy to see him that I didn’t even feel slighted that I never get that kind of a reception.

After the Daddy Love pep rally, I immediately started with homework and dinner. I started water to boil on every one of my stove’s burners to make the special Rainbow Spaghetti. I was getting all my ingredients out while simultaneously giving my first of three spelling quizzes when I felt a hand on the small of my back. “Sweetheart, let me take over. Go take a break.”

Wow. Just wow. If I were not already completely over the moon in love with my insanely wonderful husband, this would have pushed me over the edge. And God. Just God. Talk about ask and you shall receive! That simple gesture was all I need to get me grounded and focused again. He heard my prayer and answered immediately. God’s got this.

The next morning I had a nice, long prayer during my morning run. I praised God for blessing me with such a caring husband. I thanked Him for inspiring Eric to take a load off my shoulders. He had a very long day and I am sure he would have loved nothing more than to sit in his recliner with Sports Center.

In a still, small voice I heard God say to me, “Stephanie, that is what you do for him every day. Of course he wants a chance to take a load off your shoulders.”

How amazing is that? God not only met my immediate need by providing some extra help when I needed it, but He also encouraged me as a mother. He reminded me how important my role is to my husband. Eric works tremendously hard be the strong leader and provide for our family. My cleaning the house, doing the laundry, preparing the meals, and all the gazillion other little things I do are things that he never has to worry about because I take them off his plate daily.

Thanks God for the answered prayer and Mama Pep Talk!

A Miracle High

Posted in Infertility, inspiration, Steph by

Life can be a series of highs and lows.  My life has certainly been a testament to that.  Met and married my wonderful husband Eric – High.  Tried to conceive for a couple of years, failed fertility treatments, surgery – Low.  Successfully got pregnant through IVF – HUGE High!  High risk pregnancy that left me on bed rest for what felt like most of my pregnancy – Low.  Delivering premature but healthy twins – High/Low.  Five weeks and one day of being separated from them in the NICU – Low.

I could go on and on.  I want to share with you one of my favorite Highs.  He is my little Miracle High.  Eric and I were told that there was absolutely no way that we could conceive naturally.  For that reason we went through IVF to conceive Ethan and Ella.  I have no doubt that it was, indeed, a fact.  As I said this is a Miracle High.

January 2008

I woke up just like the day before. I had no idea that this morning would change all of our lives so much! Eric was getting ready for work and I was lying in bed watching Sports Center (his choice, not mine). I remembered that I needed to call in a prescription that day. Before I could get it, I had to take a pregnancy test.  My cycle was running way too long and I needed to get on progesterone to get me back on track.  I always thought this was a funny thing for me, of all people, to have to do.  I mean, we know I can’t get pregnant.  On top of that, I went back on birth control after I had Ethan and Ella.  I was simply taking it for convenience sake. Eric and I often laughed about what money we wasted on all those birth control pills early in our marriage.  So off I went to pee on my little stick. I unloaded the dishwasher, sat down, and watched TV for a minute. Should I get the kids up? Oh no wait…better go check the test and get that out of the way.

I walked into the guest bath and looked at the test on the sink. Double take…were those TWO lines? Huh? I must be seeing things. I heard Eric say something so I threw the hand towel over the test and jumped back in bed. Eric said, “Why do you look so weird?” I was still in shock so I said, “Just tired.” He went back to the closet to finish getting dressed and I ran back to the bathroom for a second look. Yes. Definitely two lines. How did this happen??? I mean I know how it happens for most, but not us! We were told that we couldn’t get pregnant on our own. Holy cow. Eric’s birthday was the next day. Boy, could I have fun with this!!! I ran upstairs to get the babies up and whispered my secret in their tiny ears.  I was pretty sure they smiled.

Thankfully Eric left shortly after that. I am told later that I am in MAJOR trouble for letting him go to work because he would have called in sick. Whoops. I quickly called my mom, my sister, and Kristen. Kristen, my personal OB nurse, reassured me that the home tests are pretty accurate. Even so, I had my mom come over so I could get an official blood test at the doctor’s office. I still didn’t believe it. I went and looked at the home test again.  Still two lines!  When I called Dr. Blake’s office to get the test they acted like I was crazy. “Mrs. Greer, we usually don’t do blood tests if you have a positive home test.” I replied, “I know, but I don’t believe it. When can I come in?” I went in immediately, got my blood drawn, and paid to have the results to me stat.

I cried and prayed on the whole way home from the doctor’s office. I was smiling ear to ear and laughing as I praised God. I am sure anyone who passed by me on the road thought I was crazy. And I was. Crazy happy. I couldn’t believe God’s blessing on us. How could this be? It took so much for us to get pregnant with Ethan and Ella. Nothing had changed with us. We were still infertile. I mean, I was on BIRTH CONTROL too! This was really a miracle straight from above.

All day I avoided calls from Eric and his sister, Amy. How in the world could I play this one off? I couldn’t even sit down I was so excited! I finally got the “official positive” test results from the doctor. Hallelujah! Praise God!! I checked the home test one more time and finally threw it in the trash.

Now how in the world would I give Eric the total shock of his lifetime??? The way we found out we were pregnant with Ethan and Ella was so impersonal.  We called into a voicemail box and listened to a stranger tell us the good news.  Not that we minded one bit.  We were finally pregnant!!

Big Brother and Big SisterI decided I would get the kids Big Brother and Big Sister t-shirts, take their pictures in it, frame it, and give it to Eric for his birthday. Well I am not sure how many of you have tried to get a 16-month old kid to stand still so you can get a good picture of him.  Now throw in a second child.  It isn’t possible. Just take it from me. So I decided the next best thing was to just wrap up the shirts and let Eric open those.

We waited on pins and needles until Eric got home. Of course since we were anxiously awaiting him, he didn’t get home until after 7. After the kids’ bath, Eric read them a story, and then they just had to give their Daddy an early birthday present.

I turned the camera off right after I told him so we could all snuggles.  There were lots of happy tears  all around.  I was told later that Eric was thinking “Why in the world did she give me some shirts for the kids for my birthday?” Apparently what I thought was pretty plain isn’t plain to a man.

How You Can Kick MOMMY GUILT For Good!

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How to Kick Mommy Guilt“Be joyful always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18

You remember the old song… “I’ve got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in my Heart. Where? Down in my Heart. Where? Down in my Heart.”

Be joyful always, 1 Thessalonias tell us. Was this directed to a mother of three?? Well if that isn’t a tall order, I don’t know what is!!

Several years ago we used to call the hours from 5 – 7 pm the witching hours in our house. It started when my youngest son, Matthew, had colic and he would WAIL constantly for hours upon hours each night. Now it is because Mommy straight up turns into a witch. It is the last few hours of my day and I am running on fumes…which is incredibly cruel because it is when I have the most to do and the least amount of energy to do it. My sweet little cherub children decide that their good behavior quota has been all used up at school. It starts with what my husband, Eric, calls my “crazy eyes.” If they are smart, they catch my crazy eyes and immediately retreat to their rooms. If not…and let’s be honest, they rarely do because they were too busy being crazy … if not, I quiet literally blow my top. And I realize that is completely hypocritical to be screaming at them to quit yelling! I am most certainly not full of Joy. Almost immediately a cloud of shame engulfs me.

We’ve all had it. It is a natural byproduct of becoming a mother. Kind of like stretch marks. Mommy Guilt. It can stick around and be just as permanent and shaming as those old stretch marks. Whether it is because we lose our cool with our kids or we feel guilty because we can’t go on their school field trip. Maybe we spend too much time trolling on Pinterest. Why can’t I transform my backyard into Arendelle for Ella’s Frozen party?? Oh look at these fun, nutritious lunch boxes! I totally should be making animals out of the 100% organic lunch so that my kids will have FUN eating their healthy, non-prepackaged lunch!

We can blame it on Pinterest, social media or society in general. That may be how it reaches us, but in reality, Satan is the author of Mommy Guilt. He has made it his mission to rob mothers of the JOY that God blesses us with in motherhood. He is a sneaky little devil. He makes us beat ourselves up for impossibly high standards that we set upon ourselves.   I don’t know a single perfect mother, yet I often beat myself up for not being one.

Well, when I was looking up the exact lyrics to “I’ve Got Joy in My Heart” on the internet, I found another verse. “If the Devil doesn’t like it then he can sit on a tack. Ouch. Sit on a tack. Ouch. Sit on a tack.” Pretty feisty, but I love it! Why do I give Satan that kind of a foothold in my life? When I think about it that way, it makes me adamant to not let him take one second of my God given Joy of motherhood. Does that give me a free pass to turn into the Wicked Witch of the West every night? Absolutely not. But it does allow me to forgive myself for my shortcomings. Then it gives me an opportunity to apologize to my children and teach about forgiveness.

I am slowly learning to embrace what talents God has blessed me with and to not sweat the areas where I am lacking. The fact that I had no less than five people contact me about my go to meal – Kraft Macaroni and Cheese – changing their recipe may be an indication that I am lacking in the cooking department. And you know what? That is OK! I make sure that my kids get the nutrition that they need aside from the cheese powder! I am not going to spend time beating myself up because I am not the Pioneer Woman. Besides think of it this way – I am giving my children wonderful ammo to torture me with at the dinner table when they reminisce about their childhood. Those are the times that my family laughs the hardest at the holidays J

Instead, I will pray without ceasing. Some days it will be filled with thanksgiving for the blessing that God has given me. Some days it will be to just have enough patience to make it to bedtime. If I keep my eyes on Him as I parent the children that God blessed me with, then I will have JOY in my heart.

How Over Scheduling Can Make You Miss Your APPOINTment

Posted in inspiration, Steph, The Blessings by

SLMI started the day the same way I always do with a nice, brisk 3.5 mile walk. Just me, my iPod, and my God. As I walk I pray over my family and day. I end each prayer with “Lord, help me make good choices with my time. Make this your day, Lord.”

You see, since I quit teaching last year to focus on my writing, I have become very cognizant of how I spend my time. Call it responsible or call it stay at home mom guilt. The truth is probably somewhere in between. Either way I am really trying to make a conscious effort of being a good steward of my time.

This actually fits quite nicely with my Type A personality. Eric calls it crazy. I call it very organized. I have my iCal organized to perfection with seven different color-coded calendars. It helps me know where I need to be and what I need to accomplish during my day.

This particular day was packed to the gills. I had a lot to do while the kids were at school, and my parents were coming over for dinner that night. I was ready to strap on my roller skates and hit that to-do list from drop off to pick up like a BOSS. I got my three kids loaded up to head to school. We were on a roll… no fighting for the second day in a row on the 5-minute ride to school…Holla!

Just as the alarm rang for the kids to hop out of the car, my oldest son asked, “Mama, can you come eat lunch with me today?” I was surprised. Ethan never asked me to come eat with him anymore. In fact, the last time I ate with him at school, he practically ignored me the whole time as he chatted with his friends. My feelings weren’t hurt. Those kids work hard all day and are excited to just get to visit with their friends as they shove lunch in their mouths. That was their time. Feeling as if I was almost intruding on their friend time, I hadn’t made it a big priority to go eat lunch with them at school this year.

calendarI glanced from his big, beautiful brown eyes to my full iCal with a little bit of panic. “Oh no! Oh no! I don’t have this on the schedule. I haven’t even showered yet today!” I thought frantically. Oh, but those eyes! And I remembered what I prayed…Lord, help me make good choices with my time. How could I choose anything over spending some time with my baby when he asks? “I’ll make it work, Buddy,” I said as I kissed his cheek. He beamed at me and jumped out of the car.

Skates strapped on, I raced to accomplish as much as I could before lunchtime. I squeezed in a shower and put on clean workout clothes…because the hair and make-up bar is automatically set lower if you are sporting workout clothes 😉 I sat at the lunch table in a rowdy cafeteria with my three kids and three of their friends. I celebrated with Ella about the test she was sure she aced. I encourage Ethan and his friend about the test they were going to take after lunch. Matthew and his friend caught me up on the gossip of first grade. And it was wonderful. The best part was getting to give them each a hug before they left. Maybe they needed that extra bit of affection in the midst of the day. I know I did. I left the cafeteria knowing I made the right decision. I was able to finish everything I wanted to accomplish that day and even got to make some cookies that weren’t even on the agenda!

How often do we schedule ourselves so much that we miss out on the little things that really are the big things? The school lunches with our kids. The walk with a friend. Just being available to sit and talk to someone who needs a friend. Or just not feeling like a zombie by the time you lay your kids down, so you can actually stay awake to spend time with your husband??

I think my goal of being a good steward of my time is a positive goal. Being able to stay home is a gift that I never want to take for granted. However, I need to remember to keep my ears open and listen to God as He directs my day. It’s what I prayed for after all, isn’t it? Praying for His day then filling it with all My plans makes me miss God’s APPOINTment.

I am a work in progress. I am far from being “fly by the seat of my pants,” but I am at least leaving room in my schedule to attempt to be spontaneous 😉

How Am I Still Standing?

Posted in inspiration, SLM - The Collective by

God can open doors to new friendships when you least expect it. On the first day of Kindergarten, I was excited about the new friendships my children would make. I was pleasantly surprised when I made some new friendships of my own with their friend’s moms. One of my friends, Devon, and I have grown close over the last three years as our children have become quite the bosom buddies. She has held my hand and prayed for me during some of the most difficult times. I absolutely treasure her friendship.

This summer she encountered a crisis of her own that I was able to help pray through with her. She shared with me a blog that she wrote to help deal with her intense grief. I felt so blessed by her refreshing honesty and amazing faith. She bravely agreed to share her experience so that you too can be blessed.

Psalm 73:26  “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.”

Life was going along swimmingly.  We had “survived” 3 surgeries in 2 months at the beginning of the school year, and we were coasting our way into summer. My husband, Tom, and I had been praying about putting our house on the market. Our prayer was quickly answered by a couple wanting to buy our house before it was even listed!

Excellent, prayer request answered!

We found a house to buy with all of our wish list items and were able to close and get some work done before we even moved in.

Fantastic, prayer request answered!  

As the school year came to a close, we prepared to move again (for the 7th time in our marriage!). I had no stress about it; we had moved so many times I felt like a pro!

You know, there is a list of “Top Stressors in Life.” Moving is #3.

Well that’s when life got interesting.  On top of moving, I was planning a big birthday celebration for Tom. We had family and friends coming in from out of town.  That by itself was not stressful.  However, add moving two weeks before said friends arrive….it becomes somewhat stressful.

On June 2nd, three days after moving in, my dear friend, Melissa, took my three kids for the morning. I desperately needed some uninterrupted time to tackle my to-do list!

Great, prayer request for time to get things done!  Answered!!!

Then the bottom dropped out of my little world that I felt so in control of.  I returned home to find my parents at my

Devon & Her Cousin

Devon & Her Cousin

house with awful news that my cousin, who was four years younger than me, had been murdered.  Yes, murdered.   I am thankful in hindsight that my kids were not home to see the reaction I had.

An instant shattering of ones heart is not a pleasant thing to witness.

Remember that list of “Top Stressors in Life??” Death of a loved one is #1 on that list.

Over the next two weeks I had to function like a normal person, unable to grieve freely.  I had three young kids at home, a party to plan, and boxes to unpack.   Through it all I would lay awake at night and I just kept thinking, how am I still standing?  How am I moving through each day in one piece?

And I heard this still small voice saying, “I am the One that sustains you.”

I knew this.  The funny thing was…I hadn’t asked for God’s strength.  In fact, I hadn’t been talking to God at all.  I tried, but I just didn’t have any words to say. He was the one keeping me upright, keeping my path straight, sustaining me, giving me grace for each day, and I didn’t even have to ask.   What an amazing thought!   God knows what we need even when we don’t know what we need.  His loving kindness never fails!

1 Peter 5:7  “Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.”

Psalm 34:18  “God is near to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

I don’t know if you are in a season of busyness, stress, or grieving. Or all three!

But I do know that if you are exhausted, Jesus gets it.

If you are overwhelmed, Jesus gets it. 

And if you are angry and life seems unfair, HE GETS IT!

Psalm 121: 1-2 “I lift my eyes up to the mountains; From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”

I also know that there are some things we experience in this life that we will NOT get answers to this side of heaven. That is a hard truth.

We can find hope and peace when we accept that our “whys” rest on the God who knows the beginning and the end.  And His way is perfect.

1 Corinthians 13:12  “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.”

How inspiring to be able to find solace in Jesus’ arms and to be reminded of His faithfulness in such a tragic situation.  If you would like to contact Devon, her email is dlh.cunningham@gmail.com.