When I went away to college at The University of Tennessee, I didn’t know a soul. At my mama’s urging, I went through Sorority Rush. I was hesitant. I didn’t want to feel like I was “buying” my new friends. However, my mama’s argument that it would be a good way to meet a lot of people quickly was compelling enough for me to look past my naive notions.
And how glad I am that I did! On the first day, I met my friend, Becky. I don’t know if we hit it off so well because we were both from Kentucky or our mutual love of Days of Our Lives. Nonetheless, as I sat with her on Preference night with tears running down my face, I knew I had a friend for life. Of course ours were tears of muffled laughter while others surrounding us were much more serious 😉
I am lucky to have a lot of strong women in my life that learn from every day. Becky is one of those people to me. I have selfishly been looking for something for her to write about for my blog, so I could share some of her wisdom and wit with my readers. She posted something on Facebook a couple of weeks ago and it was my aha moment! As a Stay at Home Mom, it really resonated with me. Enjoy!
Recently, an older gentlemen asked me what I studied in college. I answered in a humble manner explaining my degrees to which he replied “How does that help you raising kids?”
When he asked me this question, I just made a face and shrugged it off. I am not one to engage or confront. His question insinuated that I wasted my time going to college. I allowed this thought to rent space in my head for a few days. Now, I am thankful he asked me. It gave me the opportunity to put words to my convictions.
There is so much to say. Where do I start?
Children are sponges. Ever heard that phrase? Well it is true. You pour more into those fast changing little beings with your actions and example than with the lectures you give them. Want them to be kind to others, be that kind person. Want them to work hard? Show them your hard work, past and present. Want them to have skills and succeed? You continue to build your skills and help those around you doing the same.
Example to Pursue Learning – I hope I never stop learning. Of course it may have started in the classroom, but those habits to follow my interests in a meaningful way are still very much alive in me. Never stop learning, folks! It doesn’t have to be at an expensive college, but never stop moving your mind forward. It is invaluable for your kids to see those efforts. Who wouldn’t want their children to love learning? They are more likely to follow that path if you go first.
Discipline to Achieve Goals – School was not always fun and certainly not always easy. I had bigger goals. I set and achieved those goals. My kids know that I worked diligently to achieve my goals and with hard work, they can too!
Equipping for Employment – I provided for our household while my husband pursued his higher degree full time. My income bought our first home and helped us save for the flexibility to stay at home after our first child was born. We worked together on a seemingly endless path to make a better future. I consider it a tremendous blessing for my kids to understand the partnership of hard work and mutual support involved in those early years of pursuing degrees. Unfortunately, that future we build towards is not guaranteed to be easy. I have two friends who became young widows in the past two years. Life can change so quickly and dramatically. If I had to go back into the work force to provide for my family, then I would be better equipped to do so. It is about creating better opportunities for ourselves and our families. My kids will understand this more and more as they mature.
Community – The future we were building was for our family, but also for friends, church and community. We serve in different ways inside and outside our home. Was my college education part of preparing me for that? Absolutely. If I can teach my children to place a high value on serving my community, then I consider that a huge win. My pursuit of higher learning showed me the larger communities out there to serve in ways that I never would have realized otherwise. I have friends of various backgrounds and cultures. I was blessed to see perspectives outside my immediate circles. That sense of community holds value in the way that I influence my young children.
I do not currently earn an income outside the home. A person’s education should not be considered irrelevant base on that fact. I may never get another paycheck in my life. I have no regrets about the time and money I spent to get those little pieces of paper called diplomas. The whole experience shaped me for the better into the Mom I am today.
Countless blessings can come from a lifelong dedication to learning for my family and myself.
~ Becky Thomas