Do you ever feel so overwhelmed that you can’t quite catch your breath? That there aren’t enough hours in the day to get done what you need to do….never mind getting to those things that you just want to do. It’s SUMMER, right? There should be no stress in Summer! It’s against the rules, right?
Well that is exactly the way I felt yesterday evening. We spent a wonderful long weekend with my in laws celebrating 4th of July. Despite the weather not quite cooperating, we had a great time with family. We drove home yesterday after a big country breakfast, so we could get hopping on our to-do list at home. Laundry, yard work, groceries, house cleaning.
As we drove home, I listened to a conference call about how to put together a book proposal for my book, “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility … Twice.” I self published the book in December, but I am going to pitch it to several publishers at the end of the month when I go to the She Speaks conference. Breathe Steph. Breathe. As I listened to this call, I was equal parts energized and stressed because I don’t have much time to put this together. And this is HUGE. This proposal is selling me and my life story. By the time I hung up, I was ready to fire up my laptop and get to writing. I had also been brainstorming another blog post that I was itching to get down. My creative juices were ready to ooze.
However, my husband and I had that pesky to-do list. Oh yeah. And Three Kids. So instead of writing, I grocery shopped so I could feed said kids. Eric spent the entire day working on the yard. Before I knew it, I was putting supper on the table and had not had a second to sit down much less write.
And I was cranky. Oh so cranky.
Negative thoughts were swirling in my head: When am I going to get to do not just what I want to do but what I need to do? Tomorrow Eric will go to work and it will be me and the kids at home. How am I supposed to get any writing done? How come my wants are always the ones that get pushed aside? I am always last place. Maybe if I was actually making some money I would count.
Hello Pity Party of One.
So after I put dinner on the table, I asked Eric if he minded if I went on a walk. Being a smart man and sensing my crankiness, he said, “Please do!” So I took a deep breath and walked. And I prayed. I knew my attitude was negative and I hated it. God helped me redirect my thoughts. I am so thankful that Eric has such a good job that we can depend on. I am so thankful that I am able to stay home with my children. I am so thankful that my husband is so supportive of my writing. I am so thankful for the best family in the world. God, please help me prioritize my schedule. I want to be a good mom and wife but also spend the time necessary with my writing.
And that was all that it took. The remaining part of my walk, I planned out our Monday so that everyone’s needs were met. Even Mine. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and just get in a funk of “It is just too much!!! What am I going to do?” Or just get bitter about it. In reality, you just gotta take a walk.
When I got back from the walk, I sat down with Eric and told him how I was feeling and about my walk. I think it is really important to always be open with your spouse about your feelings. How else will they know how you truly feel?
Isn’t it ironic that I am finally getting to sit down and write and I am not writing about the two things that I was burning to write about yesterday? I thought this might be useful to one of you out there that was shaking their head “yes” to my first paragraph. Go on. Breathe. Take a walk. Breathe. Say a prayer. Breathe. Get a Gameplan. Breathe. GO.